numb nuts

Going by the theory of relativity, its like shifting from counting the ripples from a pebble chucked into a still crystal-clear pool to trying to count the number of people in that train on the adjacent track. Only, its moving in the opposite direction to yours...Yup, moved back to Bbay and started on a line of work I had absolutely no intention to get into during placement season..Remains to be seen who whups whose azz in this one..i honestly dunno yet...no soothsaying about how it'll go...only one way to find out...

By the way...heavy rains...flooded streets...partly drenched...water cold...hence the title...

So, this tag business...

I am thinking about that piece of chicken, or is it sun-dried tomato seed? stuck in my molar...darn it!

I said "Good Morning" when he said "Go ahead, make my day"...and I did!

I want to play league cricket in the land of Oz, well, i'd even settle for good ol' whatchamacallit'shire in the colonists backyard and not worry about a goddamn thing ever

I wish there was a way to hold on to those fantastic memories without ever living in the past

I miss not having the words 'hepatitis, jaundice, typhoid' cross my mind when looking at a road-side 'thela' selling kaala khatta gola. Well I also miss the bowl first thing in the morning if I'm not looking...

I hear not a whole lot else, when am actually listening...really

I wonder how many of us don't say or do what we really want, simply coz we don't want to appear cliched

I regret not having ordered the sizzling brownie last night

I am He-Man..the most powerful man in the universe! (you know y'all wanted to say that too...the masters of the universe was one cool show!)

I dance like noone's watching...oh wait..its more like everyone wishes they weren't

I sing worse than i dance

I cry when my toe meets something unexpectedly hard...and there will be this one other time when...

I am not impressed by/susceptible to emotional blackmail and all other assorted mind-games...

I write to highlight the inane consequence of freedom of speech

I confuse avalanche with alavanche...one of those is a word...i just know it...

I need a frikkin' toothpick...that bit just won't go away!

I should at some point take some things seriously...or so I've been told...

I finish every fight I don't start...not really...but I'm watching this action flick on HBO...

I tag
Dawn
way2top
ramsabode

Big boys do cry

The first game was as if a welter-weight contender had blundered into the ring against a heavy-weight. If you supported the scandinavians, it was painful to watch and you were in fact thankful when the end came. The other one though, was markedly different. Mexico and Argentina went at each other hard, for all of regulation time. Mexico scored the first goal to show why they're the #4 ranked team in the world. The day however belonged to the bigger South American name in the game as they won in extra time. As the cameras panned over the exultant Argentinian bench and they piled on each other, you saw the odd figure in green on the pitch, each spaced from the other similar figures, trudging towards their bench.

My enduring image was a closeup of one of the faces as he stood still, as though petrified, looking into the distance. Face lined with fatigue, a far-off stony expression nevertheless, the only sign that he might be made of living tissue apparent in the moist eyes. He finally blinks as an Argentinian player approaches him for the traditional exchange of jerseys. They hug, the victor and the vanquished. Wholehearted, because, the former knows that his opponent was worthy and with some quirks of luck, the roles could easily have been reversed. The latter, though his will, fragmented like eggshells that have been stepped on, aware that his opponent was just that l'il bit better on the day. He doesn't grudge him his win, but that doesn't ease the lump in his throat, or that heavy feeling in his chest. It will be a few days before he can smile, he will play other times, and win. But for now, he has to deal with that unduplicable feeling, that comes with wanting something with every fibre of your being...and being denied. Not for him, the excuses about unfair refereeing or insufficient training or incompetent teammates. He and his team will walk off the pitch with head held high, cliches about the importance of winning (those oft-quoted by 'the onlookers', those who wouldn't dare step on the playing field themselves but take viacarious pleasure in tearing down those that come off second best on it) don't apply here. Its funny that you think of them as absurd on two occasions - when you win and when you lose . It then...must really be about how you play the game...

My Game

Its fitting that I talk about one of my passions at a time when the world's living "Life in an 8" diameter", the Football World Cup. Anyone who knows me also knows that if there is one thing on this planet that I'm not lazy about, its the game of the flannelled fools.

Being exposed to the cricket marketing blitz from the very early years and starting to watch the game with interest at the same time that a certain Mr. Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar started appearing on the India Team-Sheet certainly acts as a catalyst. Watching, and listening to the game's most respected commentators also helped. The likes of Richie Benaud, Michael Holding et al gave out many lessons that I seem to remember a lot better than stuff from the classroom. I remember how I started a daily regimen of push-ups on hearing how upper body strength was a requisite to bowling quick or how I started paying minute attention to my delivery stride trying to ensure that my head stayed upright and that I followed through with force, all this while playing on concrete surfaces with rubber balls! Wasn't until college that I actually got to feel the brand new leather ball in my hands and that selection routine facing up to the college team's 'finest' is an unforgettable memory. Having never in my life faced the leather ball, the possibility of broken cheekbones flashed through my mind. But I couldn't care less, only kept repeating to myself "keep your eyes on the damn ball" can't help but laugh at the thought now. Have had the opportunity to play a fair bit of cricket since then, be it university, leagues in the US or our good ol' team at ISB. Doesn't seem to matter where it is, but the cricket field is where I experience true bliss...sigh :) yeah...its like that...

Got to reminiscing about a few of the best moments I've experienced on the field:

1. 3rd year engg. Inter-College Tourney. Finals against the defending champions, the final year Elec Class. Their lineup was pretty much that of the college team. Big partnership as they chase down our respectable score. Then, short ball, pulled hard, arching over the squareleg fence where N runs around full tilt, leaps with one arm extended to grab one of the best catches I've seen! The team finds its voice...and a collapse ensues. High-energy, charged cricket..loved it! We win!


2. Day 1 of the league season at the Whitewater ground in Univ. of Wisconsin - Madison. Our newly formed team's first game. First over, opposition captain faces. Ball 5, goes forward in defence, ball nips, takes shoulder of the bat, My hands reach in the nick of time to pick it out of the air at gully. First wicket down! The Sabers had arrived!


3. The Winter League - Milwaukee Sports Club. Defending a low score in the final. Fielding at wide long-on when the batsman smashes one straight down the ground. Spotted the ball in the air, went hard towards the ball and dived as the ball dipped. Caught it in the finger-tips of my extended right hand inches from the ground. Pumped up a flagging team. Lost when a six was hit off the last ball but what a game!


4. Regal League game; wookiees v/s jedi. Was asked to open the bowling for the first time. white ball, big swing, erratic first couple of overs. Captain calls for other bowler to warm up, cudnt blame him. I walk over to him and conversation ensues "me: One more over cap: dude, they're already upto 30/0 me: one more over cap: u know we're defending a small total me: onnne more over cap: nods...slowly..." next over, couple of decent away swingers. ball 3, reversed the ball in my hand...swings in, batsman hit in front...big appeal...gone! cap and me point at each other...thats what am talkin' abt!


5. Glendale academy, Hyd ISB v Intergraph. Chasing a big total, we needed a bright start. Quiet 1st over, 2nd over, Ball 1 - short outside off, slashed through point 4! Ball 2 - slightly fuller but width, square drive 4! I know the bowler is going to over correct and pitch it fuller and on the stumps. Sure enough, expecting it there, launched into it. Ball disappears out of the ground straight back over the bowler's head - 6! Damn, that felt good! only if we'd won that game...

Indiana Jones and the Island of Intellectual Asphyxiation

So here's the deal. You're on this strange island (you probably got there thinking there'd be island booty and lots of it) and have been informed that you're to be inducted into the slave-labor force. Now you're thinking, thats not necessarily a bad thing because there are different slave-duties, ranging from cleaning the green stuff that grows under the fridge to being used to propogate the species. so, here you are, having resigned yourself to being a slave, and looking forward to being assigned that task of entertaining the nubile young things on the island who need help with getting suntan lotion applied and other initiations into womanhood. sure, like that happens...and you're unceremoniously told that you'll be providing the use of your family jewels for the purpose of generating electricity while helping overweight middle-aged men put their jockstraps on. So, you do the only sane thing, you run! But then careful analysis tells you that you can't go too many places on an island. (hey! dont blame my genes for the sub-100 IQ). Tearing down dark alleys, dodging poison-tipped arrows, vaulting over electrified fences (ok, sue me for the anachronism), all in the hope of finding that secret passageway that leads back to civilzation. But as blood-sugar levels reach new lows, the shadows of the slave-drivers falling on your ankles...its geting desperate, just as you're steeling yourself to the feel naked copper wires coming in contact with parts which were meant to be treated with much more affection, your hands find a lever, and pull. A whirl of revolving stone slabs and yes! you're out of reach of those maniacal slave-drivers...you're free!

But wait, now all you see is dense foliage and a cacophony of sounds...you now don't know what's out there...and whats more...you're alone.You grin...

road rage

Its like being stuck behind a semi-trailer thats moving at 45mph on a one-lane highway. The speed-limit says 60 but the trucker apparently charges by the hour and not by distance. You crane your neck to see around the roadhog to see whats ahead so you have an idea of whats coming but no dice. frustrating...very bloody frustrating...not long before i go off-road to get around the SOB!

Perfumed Groins

The most popular sport in the world..not doubt about it...and why wouldn't it be...eleven members on each team, a pressurized sphere with the rather uncomplicated objective of putting it in the net at the other end of the field. Football fever makes our country's obsession with cricket look like trying to piss upwind. Its interesting that we suck at a sport that countries the size of the suburbs of Bbay seem to've mastered. Where else would you hear names like 'Cote d'Ivoire' - translated suitably from french to 'Ivory Coast'.

While one can't but help getting caught up in the excitement and of course the high quality of football being played, there is another aspect that many might've noticed. The perfumed groin syndrome. Its what seems to affect most strikers when an opposition defender passes within a tripping distance of them. Contact or no-contact, these talented players then take the most spectacular dives, spinning around in the air and writhing on the ground with their heads ucked into their nether regions, while clutching their ankle/calf/foot while their faces contort in agony. Referees seeing the atrocity committed on the fearless attacker award a free-kick and sometimes also a yellow card to the defender. The noble warrior at this point seems to miraculously recover and gets back on his feet and goes tearing off to receive a pass.

The physical safety of the games most prolific strikers used to be a concern in the early 80s when coaches used to assign their defenders the rather uncomplicated task of felling the opposition's finest if they got possession so as to discourage them and if possible even remove them from the field of play. FIFA then gave referees instructions to protect these chosen few and to stamp out all malevolent tackles. However, that then made defences the hapless target as striker after striker tore into the penalty area and crashed to the ground when faced with an impossible situation to earn his team a penalty. The Argentinian striker Ariel Ortega took this act to new heights in the 2002 cup. While you still see the odd dive, it was refreshing to see the referee book the Dutch striker for diving in the penalty box. What's more, such cards also attract a 5000DM fine! Now, there's a game where all involved seem to want to improve and not just shamelessly milk for advertising revenues...wonder what game i'm referring to....

Of arrogance...

"You guys are arrogant"; words from one of the Delivery Managers who was giving us this presentation on a certain business unit at my new job. The ten-strong batch of inductees (6 ISB, 3 IIMC, 1 IIML) into the Business Analyst track looked at each other, with some incredulity. He went on to add how management grads from the premier institutes tend to have little patience when working with people of 'conventional' and 'ordinary' caliber (both his words not mine!) The problem he said wasn't limited to management grads and was present in engineering graduates from the illustrious IITs. Quoting himself as an example of the latter, he explained how 'we' (apparently we were the latest additions to the fraternity), join any organization with expectations of revolutionizing the way it conducts its business, making sweeping changes to its strategy working in teams with other like-minded individuals. The reality, however, hits when your job description is anything like the expectation and your responsibilities are almost identical to those being handled by that deadbeat who graduated from <gasp> a tier-II college! Indignation turns to disillusionment as your performance on the job seems to be no better than his and you reason that the mechanical nature of the job shackles you from unleashing your true potential (" even a monkey could do this job!"). The true challenge, he said, was to work with people, and get work done, not judging them by the names on their degree certificates (in our case diplomas).

Well-intentioned advice all of it, in fact would serve us well to keep in mind some of that. A year and a half ago, when my peer group was mainly engineering graduates from various colleges affiliated to Mumbai University (not too favorably compared to the Carnegie Mellons of the world), I would've been inclined to agree. Just look at those schmucks in suits with fancy titles who seem to do little else but attend meetings all day! The proverbial shoe's on the other foot and I find myself protesting that very idea, so energetically propounded by the DM. I only speak for those of us who, after not insubstantial experience in various lines of work, set out to obtain that management degree. By no means is it a slur on fresh graduates, but I think as individuals, the former group puts more on the line. Putting careers on hold, be it to attain incremental growth or to switch tracks altogether, is dicey business. Its only during the course that does one realize that its much more than an additional qualification to add to your CV, its a completely different way of looking at the business of running a business. So, I think its completely fair that we then come out of B-school demanding more from our jobs, in some part in how big the figure on our paycheck is, but more importantly in the exact nature of work. Exposure to the different facets that go into running a successful business means that you have a much better idea of what you'd be good at doing and anything different is just a waste of everyone's time. I think its this finickiness(sometimes confusion?) about what you want to do that comes off as arrogance.

So, no, we're not arrogant, but we sure are proud of our alma mater and there's nothing wrong with that...

One Bye One

The fact that my current employers believe in blocking every productive website that there is, accounts for the delay in writing the post and actually posting it...

Pune...Week 1...
Chill in the air, more than a slight breeze and random specks of a light drizzle hitting my face as I turned in towards the hotel entrance after a longish walk. Its 10.34pm and the end of week one in my new job location; Hinjewadi Pune. My first day off in Pune, even though only had half the day after the morning and afternoon were spent hunting for what seems to be an endangered species in this city, the 'To Let' apartment.

The Rajiv Gandhi IT Park is a distance from the city with sprawling campuses with every Indian IT major and not-so-majors. The Infy campus is easily the biggest (surprise surprise!) and while Phase I of their campus has a respectable capacity of 4000, Phase II is a gargantuan 15000. The arhitecture is something to behold, with the latest building under construction resembling a crash-landed UFO. The CTS campus, while not as dispersed, has a couple of large 'high-tech-looking' structures.

The week has been demanding and the opposite in different ways. Days filled with presentations from different departments, most of them, vertical, some horizontal. The organization, as has been pointed out to us, is very distinctly partitioned into discrete components that function with almost complete autonomy. After a Delivery Manager in the Manufacturing and Logistics vertical expressed surprise that I would be working for the Insurance vertical and how he wasnt aware if that vertical existed in Pune, I decided to form a new entity, the Diagonal! Our batch of 10 inductees promptly agreed that I should head it.The function of this diagonal is as yet undecided, but for those who specialized in geometry would have figured out that this entity would be longer than and therefore have more clout than the plethora of verticals and horizontals

Scouting around the city, looking at one apartment after another have removed all doubt in my mind that the business of brokering transactions between home-owners and hapless software professionals is far more profitable a vocation than the one I am in. Another couple of days of training and then Im guessing therell be more to my day than sitting back in dimly lit presentation rooms pretending to listen while typing out smses.

Mumbai...Week 2...
Training ended tuesday...elongated affair with 3 different hotel rooms...owing to miscommunicated reservations. Went in on wednesday, all spruced up to meet new boss. Located his cabin on the campus and went in with a resounding "Good Morning Mr....". His smile faded as I told him that I was there to join his vertical as a BDM. I didn't expect him to fall over himself wanting to hug me, but this?! Turns out he didn't seem to have appropriate work for me at this stage and therefore had informed HR that my services wouldn't be needed. So, I left wondering if my stint with this company was at an end...when I was informed by the HR contact assigned to make us feel at home that it'd be sorted out in a jiffy. Next morning, I get a phone call saying that my prospective boss was going to chennai for a meeting to decide what I could possibly contriubute to the organization...that kinda thing usually happens after I've spent a few months at a workplace...chuckle! So, am expecting a warmer welcome (and sniff...work!) come Monday morning...now for a hearty homely breakfast...bwaa haa haa....

Oh yeah...signed the lease to our apartment in Aundh...right now consists of 2 buckets, 2 mugs, a host of cabinets and little else...phase 2 of operation makaan to begin next week...

p.s: title of the post...saw it on a rickshaw this morning on my way here...for those who still look for logic on this page...

take cover!

combination of whirring engines...exploding shrapnel...screaming voices...crunching metal...my first whiff of a net cafe in this city. Just wouldn't be at my sizzling best while posting from this with the gaming going on on the neighboring machines.

house-search been on for most days of the week so far, will look to finalize one in the next coupla days. then there's the painful task of furnishing the place, think i just sank lower on the depression scale at the thought of that activity. it really should be mandated by law to have more fully furnished apartments available in any city.

am in what seems to be the popular tween hangout, called e-square...being a sunday, there are no tickets available, hence settled into some aimless surfing, didn't think i'd miss being the lifeless log i was for over a month.

will do more justice to the first week experience in the city at a later date...hopefully from the comfort of 'home'...

grabbed by the BuLLS

"Sir, you have a bad smile" Well, that's settled then, the aforementioned judgement coming down as a guillotine on any hopes I might've harbored of dazzling my way into people's hearts via Close Up commercials. The veracity of the statement really cannot be questioned considering it came from that most unquestionable of authorities, the photographer at the local studio. No, I wasn't getting my portfolio done, wouldn't want the unsuspecting readers of this post to lose their lives because of shortness of breath caused by uncontrolled laughter and injuries sustained by crashing into furniture and other more immovable objects while rolling around on the floor, all in the process of considering the prospect of me in a portfolio.

This was the a passport job, with some, hold your breath, ID and stamp-sized photos thrown in. Settling onto the rather uncomfortable wooden plank, the chap straightened my tie, made micro adjustments to the angle of my neck and head as if calibrating a laser-guided missile, stepped back, asked for that smile and about a million flashbulbs went off. He then looked into the lcd screen of his digital SLR and all his bonhomie vanished just like all his hopes of winning the IPA seemed to have. I, therefore, don't blame him for glaring at me while saying the above words. Quick reload and click so as not to prolong the farce and we were done.

In other news, made my first foray into the stock market and then watched with some incredulity as the biggest ever intra-day drop in history occurred. It doesn't take too many divination skills to figure out that wasn't a good omen :) Packing seems to be high on the agenda these days and it gets tougher to procrastinate when you're being persistently asked whether I intend to take that orange polka-dotted shirt or the sequin trousers...ok, maybe i exaggerate. Ok, granted that all the actual fetching and laundering and folding and laying in the suitcase is being taken care of by mom, but leaning back and pointing at different articles can also be rather enervating. Packing...the one time when my meager possessions seem to suddenly turn so frikkin' voluminous!

Last potential post from 'da Bomb' city for a while, have heard rumors that there are internet hubs in the nethers outside Pune, unsubstantiated albeit. Will know soon enough...

You're beautiful

My life is brilliant.
My love is pure.
I saw an angel.
Of that I'm sure.
She smiled at me on the subway.
She was with another man.
But I won't lose no sleep on that,
'Cause I've got a plan.

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw you face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never be with you.

Yeah, she caught my eye,
As we walked on by.
She could see from my face that I was,
F***ing high,
And I don't think that I'll see her again,
But we shared a moment that will last till the end.

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw you face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never be with you.
You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
There must be an angel with a smile on her face,
When she thought up that I should be with you.
But it's time to face the truth,
I will never be with you.

p.s: James Blunt...Back to Bedlam

Whirr...cough...splutter....

Less than a week to go before I get back to being a productive member of society, don't look at me, that's how the economics textbook defines people who apply their 'skills' that result in some output. Decided its time to do an inventory of sorts to see what I'd 'learnt' and what I need to get done (or started depending on complexity). Took care of the shopping for business formals bit weeks ago, so my to-do now comprises of:

1. Stop sleeping till 10 in the morning and go to bed at earthly hours. The ISB timezone is far south, stop sharing sleeping habits with nocturnal species...now!


2. Expand my horizons. There are other things to do besides eat, watch the tube, surf and similar such pointless activities.


3. Find a mirror. Resembling a log while being fed your favorite food incessantly does nothing for how you fill your clothes. Hit the gym!


4. No, my cell phone did not suddenly become heavier in the Bbay climate. Hit the gym!


5. There are other forms of resting your form besides slouching or lolling on the couch/sofa/bed. Practise sitting in a chair in a posture that atleast vaguely resembles that of biped vertebrates. Do this in a phased manner so as not to shock the system
6. Practise paying attention for longer than 45 seconds at a time. The fact that I flipped between four TV channels and 3 websites while writing this post should be enough motivation.

A Nickelback video completely broke the train of thought...will add more as and when I think of 'em...time to restart that engine...that's for sure...

Simplicity

There's this file on my desktop...electronic of course. Been there for a few months now...ever since some kindred soul put it on the vastness of the lan folder at ISB. Meant a lot to me then, which is not very surprising, considering it was much sought after. Am guessing that thing must've replicated itself onto atleast 70% of the machines connected. Came across as I was 'spring cleaning' my desktop since the virtual clutter got to the point where I could only see part of Laetitia's left armpit as my desktop wallpaper. You'd guess this kind of interest would be evinced only by a media file of some sort...more so a video file (naah the darn filter software ensure none of the good stuff survived)...

but this...the sepia tint...the close up of the worn piano keys...camera panning over the guitar staff...the background score starting up with each respective instrument...the dials on the sythesizer (pretending to know whats in a recording studio)...the long-haired dudes taking their position behind the customary ribbed steel microphones...the pause in the music...faisal: ye hai meri kahani...very deliberate...khamosh zindagaaniii...very unhurried...sannaata keh raha hai...kyon zulm seh raha hai...bilal joins in as backup...ek daastan puraani...still all the time in the world...tanhaai ki zubaani...almost a whisper...har zakhm khil raha hai...kuch mujhse keh raha hai...increase in tempo...chubte kaante yaadon ke...daaman se chunta hoon...

Can think of atleast one other post already dedicated to this song...maybe it was more than a song then...who the hell knows. Right now...2.47am...its only about the brilliant simplicity of those words...bas ye meri kahaani...and they're just that...brilliantly simple..as it just finished playing for the fourth time now....

Melchizedek's Urim & Thummim

Finally read the book that's been touted as a 'publishing phenomenon' by many. Its apparent, that the beauty of it lies in its simplicity, but at the same time, there seem to so many different messages sprinkled liberally in the parable. Im fairly certain that my fairly rudimentary mind missed more than it registered as I read through The Alchemist but for the first time, couldnt resist the impulse to actually write about the bits that stuck...maybe for reinforcement at a later time. Most are common-sensical platitudes, and yet, so often forgotten. (the comments are wholly personal...kinda like notes on the margin of a textbook)

The world is huge and inexhaustible; We dont realize that were walking a new route everyday. Occupied by our search for food and water, we miss the fields that are new and the changing of the seasons.

Its the possibility of having a dream come true that makes life interesting.

Its the simple things in life that are the most extraordinary.

When someone sees the same people everyday, they wind up being part of that persons life. And then they want that person to change. If someone isnt what others want them to be, the others become angry. Everyone seems to have a clear idea of how other people should lead their lives, but none about his or her own. - familiarity breeds contempt or is this more sinister

The worlds greatest lie: At a certain point in our lives, we lose control of whats happening to us, and our lives become controlled by fate.

When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you achieve it. - am gonna need proof to buy this one...

To realize ones destiny is a persons only real obligation BUT In the long run what people think about shepherds and bakers becomes more important to them than their own destinies. - unbelievably accurate

If you start out by promising what you dont even have yet, you will lose your desire to work toward getting it.

He had to choose between something he was accustomed to and something he wanted to have. - bullseye!

Its because people fail to recognize the good things that happen in their lives everyday that the sun rises.

The secret of happiness: See all the marvels in the world and never forget the drops of oil on the spoon. - youd think itd be easier than that...

I see the world in terms of what I would like to see happen, not what actually does. - root cause of every bigoted feeling ever?

On being cheated by his guide in Tangier - I'm going to become bitter and distrustful of people because one person betrayed me. Im going to hate those who've found their treasure because I never found mine. And I'm going to hold on to what little I have , because I'm too insignificant to conquer the world. - right about the time I fell in love this book...maybe its the none-too-subtle use of sarcasm?

And then the comeback - He had to choose between thinking of himself as the poor victim of a thief and an adventurer in quest of his treasure. - amazing how much depends on what goes on inside our heads

You can sense whether a person is near or far from his destiny, just by looking at them. This candy merchant is not making candy so that later he can travel or marry a shopkeepers daughter. He's doing it because thats what he wants to do. - amen to what I sincerely hope to be able to remain trueto...wouldnt wanna expand to chocolate though...

I'm afraid that if my dream is realized, I'll have no reason to go onliving - and hence the need for distinct and several dreams...

I don't want to change anything because I don't know how to deal withchange. Im used to the way I am - a weak argument against the muchmore lethal what if... for certain people reading this...think of this question being asked of you...right this moment...be honest to yourself as you answer...

Making a decision is only the beginning of things. When someone makes a decision, he's really diving into a strong current that will carry him to places he had never dreamed of when he first made the decision. - and yet, we have five and ten year life plans...

Alchemy101: When you want something with all your heart, thats when you are closest to the soul of the world. Its always a positive force.

The caravan guide: I don't live in either my past or my future. I'm interested only in the present. If you can concentrate always on the present, you'll be a happy man and life will be a party for you, a grand festival because life is the moment, you're living right now. - feeling even better about all the time spent at the isb parties :)

The language that everyone on earth is capable of understanding...something that exerts the same (considerable) force whenever two pairs of eyes meet...love - sappy? Yeah well...sue me...liked some other bits on this topic...
Fatima: If I am really a part of your dream, you'll come back one day
Santiago's confusion as he's unable to separate the concept of love from possession - has anybody yet?

If what one finds is made of pure matter, it will never spoil. And one can always come back. If what you had found was only a moment of light, like the explosion of a star, you would find nothing on your return. - but what about the dread of finding complete darkness on your return...?

On the futility of worry: If good things are coming, they will be a pleasant surprise. If bad things are, and, you know in advance, you will suffer greatly before they even occur - hear hear

It's not what enters mens mouths that evil. Its what comes out of their mouths that is. - for all those consider alcohol intake a sin

People are afraid to pursue their most important dreams, because they feel that they dont deserve them, or that they'll be unable to achieve them.

Why don't peoples hearts tell them to continue to follow their dreams?
Because that's what makes a heart suffer most, and hearts dont like to suffer. - and also so not to make other hearts suffer however momentarily?

Every search begins with beginners luck. And ends with the victor being severely tested.

Your eyes show the strength of your soul. - My personal favorite

And finally...the delightfully refreshing closing paragraph...

The wind began to blow again. It was the levanter, the wind that came from Africa. It didnt bring with it the smell of the desert, nor the threat of Moorish invasion. Instead, it brought the scent of a perfume he knew well, and the touch of a kiss-a kiss that came from far away, slowly, slowly, until it rested on his lips. The boy smiled.

flashback: manipal

Plans to spend a day at a resort about 5 hours away were scuppered by non-availability of rooms owing to the long-weekend. Plan B then was to go to the one true campus town in India, Manipal. So, setout P, A, P, L and I For those who've not been there, the city is essentially one big campus with several different colleges offering courses in anything under the sun. We reached post-lunch to do some go-carting...bowling etc before heading off for a drive around the town. Even dropped in at the campus temple where L reminisced about his two trips a year. Dawdled over coffee and leafed through pamphlets of Axeland promos...the most blatant sexist advertising I've ever come across. Those who've seen the ads on tv, there was a map of axeland with locations like 'Bikini Point' and 'Mt. Me'. Also, flying Axeair guarantees "stewardesses who take it off as the plane takes off"...and product catalogues about 'Stay-wet t-shirts'...lol...hilarious...

Then a couple of hours at the 'world-famous in Manipal' Sunset Point followed by some pub-hopping...

Flashback

Four days...15 months of my life relived. Visited the office where I received my first ever paycheck. I suppose its one of those things that'll always stay with you, that feeling when you see the 'fruits of your labour' in your bank account statement for the very first time. I guess some people might recall theirs with distaste, but, I like, most, am rather fond of Infosys Mangalore or MInfy as it is referred to by insiders. In the context of the ubiquitous world of software development, most people think of misprints and typos when they see Mangalore instead of the B city. This one though is Infy's first development centers (DC) outside blore. Enough with the trivia...but it was a special feeling to see the office which was still under construction when our batch of trainees moved in early 2001 (after 3 months of training in the far-less-imposing old office in the 'Star of Bombay' complex). Looking at the office building flash by as the bus entered the city in the early morning hours, I could so easily recall the excitement of moving into those spanking new cubicles with the then state-of-the-art compaq machines. The gym, rec centre, landscaping etc were only completed in the subsequent months before NRN formally inagurated the DC.

Disembarked at Saibeen complex...the hep hangout place pre-mall and multiplex days where had P pick me up and we went to his 'penthouse' apartment...the days of 3-4 20-odd year olds in 2-3 BHK apartments seem to be long gone :) Had a good view of the city and while the weather was familiarly balmy, the hundreds of coconut trees swaying to the breeze surely beat the view in the concrete jungle.

Was a working day for the employed, so napped for a couple of hours and joined the others at office for lunch. The instant visitors photo ID i was handed at security said 2 things; i was exactly that..a visitor and that this place now had the security of a nuclear research facility. Even though I was only allowed until the lobby, P & A made calls and I met a whole lot of project-mates, roomies, bosses (the 'ex' is implied). Got ribbed about the weight I'd apparently put on in the last 2-3 odd years, of course i claimed it was all muscle ;) But apart from the 15 odd familiar faces, there were a lot of completely different folk milling about with the everpresent ID card dangling out of various pockets. Guess you can put down the sense of ownership to nostalgia..but this felt...well...familiar...

Will take a couple more posts to do justice to the trip...more later...

deja vu..all over again

It's official...Ya Ali is the Kajra Re of 2006! Ok, for those who're wondering if I've completely lost it, had been to my first party post-ISB. The open air, the man-sized speakers (and i'm not alluding to individual organs), a DJ who 'seamlessly' shifted between trance and the latest hindi hip-busters, a booze counter that was easily the most popular area...and get this...a tiled dance-floor...u know..the kind made up of infinite tiny pieces of bathroom tiles?! weird...but for some of you reading this, the resemblance to any ISB party would've jumped off the screen to make itself obvious. Except there was only one ISBian around...ok...maybe a couple from the IIM's but since when do they count! ;) Was still fun...some very old friends...some brand new ones...Another distinct difference was I couldn't keep raiding the booze counter (it was free of course), simply coz I'd then have the unenviable task of explaining to mom why I was weaving to and fro on my way to bed. But, fun nevertheless. No such qualms starting tomorrow for the duration of the weekend...especially on the various roof-top restaurants in the city with the surprisingly beautiful but deserted beaches (well, as of four years ago)...zubhaan allah...blame fm and all those fanaa promos

Many Many Happy Returns...

Seems just like yesterday that he was sported those misbehaving curls and that voice that hadn't been scratched up by puberty. Well...it kinda was...and while the curls have been replaced by a much trendier haircut, puberty missed that voice on its way through. Had a glimpse of him as he cut this l'il square handkerchief sized cake with a posse of khaki-clad on either side. Well, if that cake had to be large enough for all his well-wishers, it'd have to be about the size of mount everest i think. Happy Birthday on your 33rd SRT!

Incidentally, met a guy who'd opened the batting with the man in school. He even sported a 3 inch wide stitch under his chin where he'd been struck by, hold your breath, a Tendulkar bouncer! Shook his hand and asked "Is he as special as he seems?" He looked at me, knew I wasn't talking about his batting, said "Every bit as he seems". He then shot me a question "You still think he's good, inspite of everything in the last couple of years?", staring intently waiting for an answer. The fact that he might be a prospective boss didn't matter as i answered "He could not score a run for the rest of his career, and, he'll remain the best ever for me". Wonder how many times I've said that!

On a less significant note, the date of April 24th has always served as a mnemonic for me to remember the other date...25th, so I'd remember that the one synthesized from genetic material irradiated to mutate into pure evil, sent only to make my life a living (sometimes, maybe not even that) hell through my adolescent years, my sibling was born on this date. Happy B'day Sis! Pity you ain't around so I could've gifted you those gucci pumps!

p.s: as is very clear, the language used in this post is not suitable for younger sisters...for those who've had the misfortune of knowing us both, trust you to maintain the peace...else...remember i know where you live...so i can thank you of course!

De-men-t-ed(or)

I was out for a jog around the neighbourhood...as usual minding my own business...making good time over the hard tarmac...the evening light diffusing into twilight...when it happened. They appeared out of nowhere...silent as gestures...their faces hooded...their full-length robes making it look like they were gliding over the ground. I saw the one ahead...and felt rather than heard the two coming up behind. Somehow, instead of wondering why these individuals were so overdressed for the balmy weather, my mind immediately searched for a happy thought. Not the easiest thing in the world to do, atleast not always...but I knew I had to...though...to focus on that one happy thought...no matter how impossible it felt...feels...will muster that thought...raise my wand (no pun here)...and announce "Expecto Patronum..."

Ok...this is what happens when you go through five of Rowling's books in under a month...and while i have no claims of being a fan...the metaphors, if you so choose, are well...kinda apt...to normal 'muggle' life. Strange thing this, the human mind, seems to go into free-falls with the most inane thoughts and emotions. No reason whatsoever...Well...but they're there...entities that suck the happiness and more importantly, hope out of you. that 'patronus' better emerge...and fast...its needed...and this is an emergency...

nude cricket neone...?

This is too hilarious to miss....
http://sport.iafrica.com/columns/dan_world/251813.htm